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sunday_reveries (SWS)
ooc: Takes place Friday morning. Are we going to post Truth or Dare up anywhere? Anyway, muses used without permission, but with much love!
"The person you love and the person who loves you are never the same person."
-Chuck Palahniuk
Cassie looks beautiful while sleeping.
Well, she always looks beautiful, but she's sprawled naked on top of Kon and her mouth is open a little and snoring quietly and if Kon wasn't madly in love with her, he'd probably think she looked a little ridiculous. But as it is, he can't imagine anyone being hotter.
Next to him, under Cassie's legs, Tim shifts in his sleep. Kon can hear his heartbeat. It stays steady. Tim's still asleep.
Even while sleeping Tim looks worried. Kon hates that. Since they started dating, Kon's seen Tim smile and laugh, and that's great, but he still can't make Tim really happy. And Cassie... Cassie's just as bad, and she shouldn't be. It was a full time job keeping both of them from sinking into despair, and Kon kept screwing up.
And that's almost what it feels like sometimes, a job. One he wants, definitely, and the payoff is totally worth it, but it's a lot of pressure. He almost thinks Cassie and Tim would be better off without him stumbling along and being an idiot all the time, but he knows that they would be stable but not happy and anyway, he can't keep thinking about that because it makes his heart twist painfully.
He lets his hearing stretch out, for a moment. He can hear Cissie and Bart sleeping. Bart's heartbeat is racing, but that's pretty normal for a speedster, and Cissie's is slow and calm and they're happy and it's simple for them and good.
Kon's happy for them, and he shouldn't be jealous. He's got Cassie and Tim and the sex is amazing and he loves both of them. But it's as if Cissie and Bart are helping each other dance over an ocean of trouble so lightly that they don't sink. Kon, on the other hand, feels like Cassie and Tim were drowning without him and he's still trying to pull them out of water so that they can fly free. He's holding on as tightly as he can to both of them, and he's pretty sure Cassie wishes he wasn't holding on as tightly as he is. And he's afraid to let go and afraid to keep holding on and he really doesn't want to screw them up.
He reaches up for Cassie's hand on his shoulder and rubs the smooth metal of her bracelet with his thumb. He loves her so much it hurts. And yeah, he kind of wishes it could just be the two of them, but he knows he can't think that way. Tim already thinks that Kon doesn't want him, or wouldn't be with him without Cassie. And just because the second part's true doesn't mean the first is. Tim's hot. And more importantly, he's Kon's best friend. And even now that they're having sex, Kon still sees him as more a best friend than a boyfriend. Which is probably wrong, but it doesn't matter. He'd do anything for Tim, just as much as he'd do anything for Cassie. And if what Tim needs is love and sex, Kon's happy to do it. Sex isn't the same thing for him that it is for the rest of his friends. That much is clear from their reactions when he talks about it as openly as he does. But whatever sex is, it makes Tim happy, and that's enough to know that he's doing the right thing. Even if he feels a little left out whenever Cassie turns to Tim and not to Kon. It's okay.
And then he realizes Tim's heartbeat has sped up a little and he looks down and sees that Kon is awake. And looking more worried than usual. Have Kon's thoughts been showing on his face? It's much too likely. Kon cracks a smile and turns his head to kiss Tim lightly. It's okay. He's got two people he loves and they're both with him and naked in a tent and it's okay.
"The person you love and the person who loves you are never the same person."
-Chuck Palahniuk
Cassie looks beautiful while sleeping.
Well, she always looks beautiful, but she's sprawled naked on top of Kon and her mouth is open a little and snoring quietly and if Kon wasn't madly in love with her, he'd probably think she looked a little ridiculous. But as it is, he can't imagine anyone being hotter.
Next to him, under Cassie's legs, Tim shifts in his sleep. Kon can hear his heartbeat. It stays steady. Tim's still asleep.
Even while sleeping Tim looks worried. Kon hates that. Since they started dating, Kon's seen Tim smile and laugh, and that's great, but he still can't make Tim really happy. And Cassie... Cassie's just as bad, and she shouldn't be. It was a full time job keeping both of them from sinking into despair, and Kon kept screwing up.
And that's almost what it feels like sometimes, a job. One he wants, definitely, and the payoff is totally worth it, but it's a lot of pressure. He almost thinks Cassie and Tim would be better off without him stumbling along and being an idiot all the time, but he knows that they would be stable but not happy and anyway, he can't keep thinking about that because it makes his heart twist painfully.
He lets his hearing stretch out, for a moment. He can hear Cissie and Bart sleeping. Bart's heartbeat is racing, but that's pretty normal for a speedster, and Cissie's is slow and calm and they're happy and it's simple for them and good.
Kon's happy for them, and he shouldn't be jealous. He's got Cassie and Tim and the sex is amazing and he loves both of them. But it's as if Cissie and Bart are helping each other dance over an ocean of trouble so lightly that they don't sink. Kon, on the other hand, feels like Cassie and Tim were drowning without him and he's still trying to pull them out of water so that they can fly free. He's holding on as tightly as he can to both of them, and he's pretty sure Cassie wishes he wasn't holding on as tightly as he is. And he's afraid to let go and afraid to keep holding on and he really doesn't want to screw them up.
He reaches up for Cassie's hand on his shoulder and rubs the smooth metal of her bracelet with his thumb. He loves her so much it hurts. And yeah, he kind of wishes it could just be the two of them, but he knows he can't think that way. Tim already thinks that Kon doesn't want him, or wouldn't be with him without Cassie. And just because the second part's true doesn't mean the first is. Tim's hot. And more importantly, he's Kon's best friend. And even now that they're having sex, Kon still sees him as more a best friend than a boyfriend. Which is probably wrong, but it doesn't matter. He'd do anything for Tim, just as much as he'd do anything for Cassie. And if what Tim needs is love and sex, Kon's happy to do it. Sex isn't the same thing for him that it is for the rest of his friends. That much is clear from their reactions when he talks about it as openly as he does. But whatever sex is, it makes Tim happy, and that's enough to know that he's doing the right thing. Even if he feels a little left out whenever Cassie turns to Tim and not to Kon. It's okay.
And then he realizes Tim's heartbeat has sped up a little and he looks down and sees that Kon is awake. And looking more worried than usual. Have Kon's thoughts been showing on his face? It's much too likely. Kon cracks a smile and turns his head to kiss Tim lightly. It's okay. He's got two people he loves and they're both with him and naked in a tent and it's okay.