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I think the Kon as a Sith Lord icon shall be my new OOC icon.
I'm bored. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nokidflash is doing this and I figure, what the hell? So I shamelessly stole the idea.
Leave a comment and I will come up with your character's and my character's kid. Doesn't matter if your character is male or female - adoption counts just as much as organically produced babies (or even surrogacy, cloning, genetic manipulation, whatever!). Of course, this is just for fun's sake only, so none of these kids are actually binding to anything.
Also, my tags are extraordinarily unhelpful. Perhaps I should do something about that.
nokidflash is doing this and I figure, what the hell? So I shamelessly stole the idea.Leave a comment and I will come up with your character's and my character's kid. Doesn't matter if your character is male or female - adoption counts just as much as organically produced babies (or even surrogacy, cloning, genetic manipulation, whatever!). Of course, this is just for fun's sake only, so none of these kids are actually binding to anything.
Also, my tags are extraordinarily unhelpful. Perhaps I should do something about that.
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"You love Alexa and you know it." Cassie put down her book and leaned against him. "She's in bed and asleep?"
"In bed, at least. Our beautiful baby girl." He smiled and put an arm around Cassie. "At least she doesn't have any powers to speak of."
"Mmm. A superfast, superstrong baby who can fly. We did luck out, didn't we?"
Kon kissed her. "We really did."
There was a crash, and Alexa ran through the wall. "Mommy, daddy, I had a nightmare!"
Cassie and Kon looked at each other, then looked at Alexa and the hole in the wall.
"...we are so boned," Kon said.
Cassie glared at him and went to comfort Alexa.
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Kon snickered. "Heh, straight."
"This is not funny!" Cissie said. "Cassie, go on."
"Thank you." Cassie smiled sweetly. "The two of you were on a mission."
"In another dimension," Kon added.
"Right, in another dimension. And in this dimension - "
"Tim was turned into a girl." Kon nodded.
"Shut up, Kon." Tim rocked the baby.
"Yes, that part we get." Cissie put her hands on her hips. "Tim was turned into a girl. Fine. What we don't get is why you needed to have sex."
"Unprotected sex," Cassie added.
"It's all Kon's fault," Tim gritted out.
"See, I figured, when else is Tim gonna have the chance to feel sex as a girl?" Kon shrugged. "And it was a different dimension and I figured that since he's really a guy and I can't have babies, he wouldn't get pregnant."
"And you went along with that even though you're dating me?" Cissie asked.
"He was very convincing at the time!" Tim said. "And the girl hormones! Oh my god, the girl hormones."
"He was a whiny bitch," Kon said.
"Don't talk to the mother of your child like that!" Cassie said. "And Tim! Don't insult female hormones!"
"I'm not insulting them!" Tim said. "I just wasn't used to them! And we'd been stuck in the other dimension for three months already!"
"Right." Cissie said. "On with the story?"
"Yeah, Tim got pregnant and didn't turn back," Kon said. "And we were stuck in the other dimension for another year. During which we had baby Janet. And that was good because it turned out in addition to being our beautiful baby girl, she was what we needed to get sucked back into our dimension."
"And just a week passed for us," Cassie finished.
"Yes," Cissie said. "All of that took just a week for us."
"I'm working on figuring that out," Tim said. "But Janet takes a lot of care and I don't always have time."
"Why don't you give the baby up for adoption?" Cissie asked tentatively.
"No!" Kon and Tim said in unison.
"Janet's our daughter!" Kon said.
"I did not experience the pain of childbirth just to give up my baby," Tim said darkly.
"Plus, a quarter Kryptonian!" Kon said. "We are not foisting a potentially superpowered baby on just anyone!"
"We're taking care of her," Tim said.
Kon nodded. "Tim just needs to fake the birth certificate and everything. He's a good mommy like that."
"Right, fine," Cassie said. "So what, are you two dating now?"
"Not really," Kon and Tim chorused.
"Wanna get back together?" Kon asked, flashing Cassie a grin.
"I'm sorry, Cissie, really. It's all Kon's fault," Tim said.
"It is," Cissie agreed, casting Kon a dark look.
Cassie sighed. "We'll forgive you if you promise never to make us deal with diapers."
Cissie nodded. "I think that's fair."
"Deal!" Kon and Tim said together.
"I totally love you enough to deal with diapers," Kon said. "I think. Really. Totally."
"Kon, shut up," Tim said absently, pulling a bottle from his utility belt. "Seriously, don't talk."
"...ok, good plan," Kon said.
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But 18 years ago, Kon hadn't been fast enough. He'd been with Cissie, not doing much at all, when the emergency signal had gone off on his communicator. He'd left quickly, but if only he hadn't taken that extra minute, maybe he could have saved Tim and Cassie. He still had nightmares about it.
He and Cissie had clung to each other. Bart too. But Kon was the one who moved in to help Cissie through birth, and through raising a child. The first year was hard, but Tim needed them. Not a day went by that they didn't miss Tim and Cassie, but they had each other. When things were too much for Cissie, Kon was there. And although they weren't dating, or sleeping together or anything, they weren't dating anyone else, either.
When Tim was five, they married. And they stayed together. They told Tim about his namesakes, brave Wonder Girl and clever Robin, and they watched him grow.
And now he was all grown-up. At night he patrolled with Nightwing, proud to be the newest Boy Wonder, Robin. And here he was, graduating.
Cissie wiped away a tear, and Kon put an arm around her.
They knew that somewhere up there, Tim and Cassie were looking down, just as proud as they were. And for once, it didn't hurt to think about them.
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And the one you wrote for
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:D Thank you!
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Go. :3
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It was all Luthor's fault. Tim didn't even know how, but it had to be. Tim pulled out the vial of Luthor's blood and stared at it, frowning. There had to be a way. He needed Kon back. He couldn't deal with this. He needed his best friend. Tim closed his eyes. He would not cry. He wrapped his hand around the vial of blood and bit his lip sharply.
The vial shattered. Tim hadn't even realized he'd been squeezing that hard. Blood dripped out of his hand, getting all over his precious equipment.
Tim cursed. It had been nearly impossible to get the first vial of Luthor's blood. And it would be even harder the second time. He threw the glass to the floor and whirled his cape around. His hand was bleeding, when had that happened? He hadn't noticed that the glass cut him. He needed sleep, or maybe patrolling. That seemed more likely.
"Superboy cloning attempt 1874," the computer's synthesized voice rang out behind him. "Success."
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----
Kon thought she was hot. Chloe thought he looked strangely familiar.
It was supposed to be a one-time thing. He was a little young for her.
But then she tested positive.
They hadn't exchanged numbers, but she had a name and an expert knowledge of computers.
Turned out all she needed was google.
Kon. Superboy. Superman's clone. Clark's clone.
This was too weird. Chloe had a number, now, but she didn't call it. She didn't get the abortion she'd meant to get, either. She told herself it had nothing to do with the lingering feelings for Clark she thought she'd left behind.
When Ally turned four, Chloe finally dialed the number.
"Hullo?" He sounded more like Clark to her than anything else.
"Hi," she said, a little nervously. "It's Chloe. We slept together about five years ago?"
There was silence on the other end. "Um?"
"You have a daughter," she said.
"What?"
"After that night... I got pregnant."
"I... wow. I mean, I used a condom."
"Guess it broke or something. Look, it's fine. I love her. Her name's Allison Sullivan and she's beautiful. I just... would you like to meet her?"
There was silence on the other end of the line.
"Kon?"
"Yeah," he said softly. "I would."
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---
"You'll never get away with this, Mr. Mizzypultik!" Kon shouted.
"Oh, won't I?" Mr. Mxyzptlk cackled. He crooked a finger and Bart appeared next to him.
"Huh?" Bart said. "Uh, Clark?"
"Bart, great, help me against the crazy fifth dimensional imp!"
"Oh, he'll help you, alright! And I'll enjoy watching!" And Mxyzptlk disappeared.
Kon cursed. "Goddammit!"
"You're not Clark," Bart said.
Kon glared at him. "No, duh. And now he's gone without saying his name backwards! He'll be back!"
"He didn't look so scary!" Bart said. "Who the hell are you?"
"Stop acting crazy, Bart," Kon said. "You know it's me."
"No, I don't."
Kon stared at him. Then he nodded. "Mxy. We'll figure it out, Bart. I'm Kon. Your best friend? You'll remember when we sort this all out."
"Clark's my best friend."
Kon made a face at him. "Ew."
"What?"
They heard cackling, and suddenly Mxyzptlk reappeared.
"This isn't interesting enough," he said. He twitched his fingers and wiggled his nose. Suddenly a short boy wearing a black t-shirt with a Flash symbol appeared in front of them. He had bright blue eyes and red-brown hair.
He smirked. "Hey, Dads! I'm Bart-El, or Superimpulse! Your son! And did I mention? I'm evil!"
Bart-El flew at them at superspeed and punched Kon several times with super strength before he could react. Bart pulled him off, but Superimpulse twisted and was off, laughing madly. They heard explosions in the distance.
"I hate Mixizpultiks," Kon grumbled. "Come on, Bart, help me stop our crazy kid?"
"I am so confused," Bart moaned. But he followed Kon.
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---
Wally was not expecting Jai to have tactile telekinesis. He spent eight and a half minutes yelling at Linda before she pointed out his recently-developed superspeed as proof that she hadn't cheated on him.
Which didn't explain the TTK. Or the superstrength. Or the tendency to hover in midair. Or the DNA test that showed some DNA that wasn't from Linda or Wally. And matched the bizarre half-Kryptonian DNA that STAR Labs had from Superboy.
It takes about ten minutes to get Superboy into the labs. Then they have to spend fifteen more minutes explaining that he wasn't in trouble.
STAR Labs ran a series of tests, then made them wait while they processed the results.
Eventually, the doctors determined that there'd been some residue of Kon left in Wally after the massive mess with the Malevolent Mixer that had combined Kon and Wally into one entity with two brains. Zee had fixed them pretty quickly, but there had been a few strands of Kon's DNA left lying around. And somehow, Jai had picked them up.
"So does this make Jai my kid?" Kon asked. Wally and Linda had decided that the least they could do was have him over for dinner after putting him through that, and he'd matched Wally plate-for-plate so far.
Wally served himself another helping of chicken and a few heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. "No. More like his grandparent or something."
"So does that mean you're my kid?" Kon grabbed a drumstick and more peas and carrots.
Wally almost spit out his drink. "What? No!"
"It's more like you're Jai's uncle, or something," Linda said helpfully. She hurriedly served Jai and Iris some more food before the men finished it off.
Iris scowled. "Why can't Superboy be my uncle, daddy? He's so cool!"
Kon grinned at her. "Hey, I can be your uncle too!"
Iris pouted. "But I can't fly."
Jai stuck out his tongue and floated out of his chair.
"No powers at the dinner table, dear," Linda said.
"Ha!" Iris said.
Wally waved a chicken bone ruefully. "My family is a madhouse."
Kon smiled happily. "Our family, you mean."
Linda and Wally glanced at each other. This would not end well.
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<_<
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---
Kon looked up suddenly from his Superheroines Illustrated and chucked the magazine at Sirius. "Can gay wizards have babies?"
"What?" Sirius asked. He grabbed the magazine, intending to throw it back, but halfway through the throw he started paging through it and decided to keep it.
"Babies. Can gay wizards have 'em. Like, is there a 'impregnatus guyus' spell or something."
"Impregnatus guyus? What?"
"Okay, my fake Latin sucks. Is there something?" Kon flew over and wrenched the magazine back.
Sirius scowled at him. "I was looking at that!"
"You can see it when I'm done."
"You threw it at me! And yes, there's a spell. 'Infantus concevus.' It makes there be a sparkly glow that makes you unbelievably horny and then you fuck and bam, there's a magic gay baby."
"Do you get pregnant?"
"Nope. It just appears."
"Awesome." Kon went back to his magazine, curiosity sated. Sirius watched him for a few minutes, then went back to enchanting random Muggle gadgetry things to fly around the room.
After a while, Kon looked up. "Wanna try it?"
Sirius blinked at him. "What?"
"Wanna make a baby?"
Sirius shrugged. "Sure. Could be fun." He pulled out his wand. "Infantus concevus!"
---
And because I realize I didn't actually make up the baby so much as describe how he was conceived, Andrew Kent-Black is very attractive, floppy black hair, square jaw, blue eyes, very insane, and very sad that he didn't inherit x-ray vision from his Super-dad. He does have TTK and flight, though. He's also an expert Quidditch player (though he's been accused of cheating and flying himself rather than the broom) and he failed Muggle Studies. He kept on forgetting that the laws of physics apply for most Muggles. He's very good at charms, though. And possibly a bit promiscuous, but neither of his parents are allowed to judge him for it!
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I mostly like that this baby was just the result of boredom. "Play video games?" "Nah, let's have a baby!"
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