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sunday_reveries (SWS)
[Characters referenced with love, if not permission.]
8. I know nothing more shattering than to love with all your heart, than not to be able however hard you try to break yourself of it.
-W. Somerset Maugham
"Conner?" there was a knock on the door.
Kon lay face down on his bed and groaned. "Go away, Aunt Martha."
There was a quiet pause, then Kon heard the key turn in the lock, and Martha walked in.
"I made you breakfast." Kon didn't need to look up to see it. He could smell it. Bacon, eggs, and toast. "When you didn't wake up early to do your chores I worried."
Kon considered just lying there until she went away, but the thought of food made him hungry, so he rolled over and sat up. "You don't have to worry about me." He slumped morosely and took the food from her. "Nothing can hurt me, remember?"
Martha frowned and sat down next to him on the bed. She gave him a quick, tight hut and let Kon eat his breakfast.
"Does it have to do with... your relationship?" she asked quietly when he'd finished eating.
"My... oh. Um, yeah." Kon moved the plate around on his lap awkwardly. They hadn't really discussed him dating two people, though he knew Martha knew. She'd just accepted it in her quiet way, the way she accepted so many other strange things, and didn't ask.
She took the plate and set it on the ground. Then she hugged him again. Kon hesitated for a moment, then hugged back.
"Do you... want to talk about it?" she asked hesitantly.
Kon almost said no, but then he realized he couldn't talk to anyone else. All his friends were mad at him since he'd been dumb enough to take Cissie's gushing happiness and make everything just kind of suck. Him and his issues.
"I don't know if it's working out."
"I see." Martha took one of his hands and held it between hers. "It's a... rather unusual sort of relationship. I can't say I have any experience to lend you. Do they ever work out?"
Kon shrugged. "Yeah, for some people. I dunno. I just..." he rubbed his eyes furiously. "I want everyone to be happy!"
"Oh, honey. You can't please everyone."
"I know." Kon looked down. "But this was making two people I love happy, and is that so wrong?"
Martha squeezed his hand. "Was it making you happy?"
Kon didn't know what to say. He wasn't unhappy, but he did miss how it had been when it was just him and Cassie. And the sex was nice, though he wasn't going to bring that up. Martha got all flustered whenever he did. And being able to make Tim stop thinking, to make him actually happy did make him happy.
"If you aren't happy, you should end it," Martha said.
And he'd thought about that. Considered saying enough is enough and making Cassie choose. Kon or Tim. She'd be angry at him, but he stillhoped thought she'd pick him. It would kill him if she picked Tim. Even though he didn't think Tim would accept that.
"I can't." He blinked his eyes rapidly to fight back tears. "It's just... I love Tim. I don't... I don't want him the same way I want Cassie, but I do love him. And if we break up with him, I don't know what he'll do, but it'll be really Batty and probably involve making himself miserable again. And I can't let that happen."
Martha hugged him again, tightly. "Sounds like a tough situation."
Kon hugged her back. "What do I do?"
Martha shook her head. "I can't solve this for you. Talk to Cassie and Tim." She squeezed his shoulder. "I know you'll work out the right thing. You're a good man, Conner. Remember that they love you, and that I love you too."
"I - yeah, thanks." Kon stood up slowly and walked out behind her. "Better get to those chores, huh?"
"Well, you're having a tough day - "
"I'm not gonna not do the stuff I need to just cause I'm having a lousy day."
She smiled softly. "I wasn't going to suggest it. But there's a patch of trees in the western field that need to be cleared. I hear pulling them out is very therapeutic, though I've only ever found it hard work."
Kon glanced at her and gave her a weak smile. "Oh. Yeah, thanks, Aunt Martha. I love you too, you know."
She nodded and smiled, and Kon flew away.
8. I know nothing more shattering than to love with all your heart, than not to be able however hard you try to break yourself of it.
-W. Somerset Maugham
"Conner?" there was a knock on the door.
Kon lay face down on his bed and groaned. "Go away, Aunt Martha."
There was a quiet pause, then Kon heard the key turn in the lock, and Martha walked in.
"I made you breakfast." Kon didn't need to look up to see it. He could smell it. Bacon, eggs, and toast. "When you didn't wake up early to do your chores I worried."
Kon considered just lying there until she went away, but the thought of food made him hungry, so he rolled over and sat up. "You don't have to worry about me." He slumped morosely and took the food from her. "Nothing can hurt me, remember?"
Martha frowned and sat down next to him on the bed. She gave him a quick, tight hut and let Kon eat his breakfast.
"Does it have to do with... your relationship?" she asked quietly when he'd finished eating.
"My... oh. Um, yeah." Kon moved the plate around on his lap awkwardly. They hadn't really discussed him dating two people, though he knew Martha knew. She'd just accepted it in her quiet way, the way she accepted so many other strange things, and didn't ask.
She took the plate and set it on the ground. Then she hugged him again. Kon hesitated for a moment, then hugged back.
"Do you... want to talk about it?" she asked hesitantly.
Kon almost said no, but then he realized he couldn't talk to anyone else. All his friends were mad at him since he'd been dumb enough to take Cissie's gushing happiness and make everything just kind of suck. Him and his issues.
"I don't know if it's working out."
"I see." Martha took one of his hands and held it between hers. "It's a... rather unusual sort of relationship. I can't say I have any experience to lend you. Do they ever work out?"
Kon shrugged. "Yeah, for some people. I dunno. I just..." he rubbed his eyes furiously. "I want everyone to be happy!"
"Oh, honey. You can't please everyone."
"I know." Kon looked down. "But this was making two people I love happy, and is that so wrong?"
Martha squeezed his hand. "Was it making you happy?"
Kon didn't know what to say. He wasn't unhappy, but he did miss how it had been when it was just him and Cassie. And the sex was nice, though he wasn't going to bring that up. Martha got all flustered whenever he did. And being able to make Tim stop thinking, to make him actually happy did make him happy.
"If you aren't happy, you should end it," Martha said.
And he'd thought about that. Considered saying enough is enough and making Cassie choose. Kon or Tim. She'd be angry at him, but he still
"I can't." He blinked his eyes rapidly to fight back tears. "It's just... I love Tim. I don't... I don't want him the same way I want Cassie, but I do love him. And if we break up with him, I don't know what he'll do, but it'll be really Batty and probably involve making himself miserable again. And I can't let that happen."
Martha hugged him again, tightly. "Sounds like a tough situation."
Kon hugged her back. "What do I do?"
Martha shook her head. "I can't solve this for you. Talk to Cassie and Tim." She squeezed his shoulder. "I know you'll work out the right thing. You're a good man, Conner. Remember that they love you, and that I love you too."
"I - yeah, thanks." Kon stood up slowly and walked out behind her. "Better get to those chores, huh?"
"Well, you're having a tough day - "
"I'm not gonna not do the stuff I need to just cause I'm having a lousy day."
She smiled softly. "I wasn't going to suggest it. But there's a patch of trees in the western field that need to be cleared. I hear pulling them out is very therapeutic, though I've only ever found it hard work."
Kon glanced at her and gave her a weak smile. "Oh. Yeah, thanks, Aunt Martha. I love you too, you know."
She nodded and smiled, and Kon flew away.
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