The Kid of Steel

[Locked in a half-arsed way]

40.1 "The trouble with trouble is that it usually starts out like fun."

Oh, man, do I know how that is.

Just take a look at my freaking romantic history. Hell, look at all my history. "I know what would be a good idea! Let's go sign up with some idiot who says he'll be my agent! He's got a pretty daughter! No way he could owe millions of dollars in debt!" "Hey, let's run off with the sexy fury! No way she could be evil, she's so fucking hot and we've had sex!" "How about a threesome? It'll be fun! Like you'd regret having sex with Anita, even if Slobo is there." "Let's not tell anyone about my other genetic donor."

"Date the pretty blond boy. He's hot and a lot of fun. No way you'll fall in fucking love with him and he'll knock you out on your invulnerable ass."

Goddamn it. I should just never have fun. Maybe it'd help.

[/locked]

22.4. How well do you get along with your family?

I don't have a family. Not really. I mean, let's see, I've got my two genetic donors. (Neither of them are are my dads, not at all. Dads don't brainwash, and they don't try to shunt you off on whoever will take you.) Aunt Martha's really nice and I guess she's almost like, well, an aunt, and it's nice, but I'm still the clone of her son. Kara's great, so I guess I've got one cousin I get along with.

I guess the people who I think are family aren't related to me by genes at all.

There's the Guardian and Dubbilex. They've always been there for me... still not really dads, maybe, but they cared about me, definitely. And Rex, who was like the sleazy uncle who only comes around to ask you for money. I think he cared about me at least a little, though. Maybe really, really deep down? And Roxy, of course, who's my sister. SO I guess I get along with them. Don't see them much.

Then there's the Titans/Young Justice people. My real family. And I get along with almost all of them. Tim and Bart, my best friends, who I trust with, like, everything. Hell, I like Bart enough to live with him, and considering how much he eats, he'd be totally screwed if I didn't like him. But it's great having him around and he gives the best hugs ever. Tim doesn't give the best hugs ever (no offense, dude, but you freeze up), but hey, I love him anyways. He's always there for me. And even if he's a creeper who totally reads the stuff I lock, I know he only invades my privacy because he cares. And there are my girls, Cissie, Greta, Anita, Traya... seriously, how do I know so many girls that I'm "just friends" with? Ladies, we need to have an orgy, stat. (Cissie, I'm kidding! Don't hurt me!) But anyways, I love 'em too. And Red Tornado and even Snapper and Ray. And Slobo, wherever he is. Big Lobo... not so much, but that's because he's freaking terrifying.

And Cassie...

Cass? If you're reading this, can we talk at some point? I miss you.

I've never quite understood sexual orientation.

( Talk about sexy stuff under the cut! )

[Locked.]

No.

I don't think I can.

My boy's hurting right now. And I don't care what Bernard and Tim and Cissie say, it is my fault. If we'd never started dating, Bernard wouldn't be a target. I mean, yes, he's Robin's best civilian friend, but no one knows that who doesn't know Tim's secret ID.

And he's still in danger! It was a damn effective trap, and one that would probably work again because he's my boy and I'm not so good at thinking it through when he's involved.

And Luthor wants to fucking adopt me? How insane is he? Like, dumb question, but really? What the hell is he thinking?

And don't even get me started on the Kents and family dinner. Aunt Martha's great, and Kara's okay, but Kal is totally freaking unbearable. I think it was even worse for Bernard. Kal was just such a dick. Like, unbelievably so. I think he might be a little homophobic too. And he kept calling me Conner. I'm not Conner. Especially not since Tim got me the new ID.

Fuck. Why does everything suck so much?

- Anyone. Bulletproof!

Okay, if I wasn't, or the bullet was kryptonite...

- Tim
- Bart
- Cissie
- Bernard
- Roxy
- Anita
- Greta
- Okay, it's pretty much anyone for this too. I am a superhero, after all. Taking bullets is our job!

Bernard is totally the best boyfriend ever.

Which...okay, I don't have much comparison. I've mostly only had girlfriends, and Lyle doesn't count because it was in the future so technically it hasn't happened yet.

But still. He's so sweet. And really sexy. Like, incredible. He's so pale and delicate and my hickeys show up so prettily on his skin. Plus, he's an artist! I haven't seen the picture he did of me that I posed for, but I saw some of his sketches. They're good. As far as I can tell at least.

Damn. Believe me, I don't just like him for the sex, though the sex is awesome. He's also adorable and sweet. And not just when I lick him, though that's pretty sweet too.

So yeah, it's awesome. And I need to send him naked pictures of me, stat.

People Kon Has Slept With
In chronological order:

1. Knockout. Several times. Before Kon figured out that she was a villain and Kay figured out she was a lesbian.

2. Sparx, once.

3. Sterling Roquette. Twice.

4. Slobo. Kon claims sex pollen was involved. This is a lie.

5. Anita. With Slobo.

6. Cass. Kon really hopes Batman doesn't know about that one. Really, really hopes.

7. Cassie. It was good. Kon doesn't want to talk about it besides that, so don't ask.

8. Lyle. He had a tendency to go invisible when he came.

9. Jenni. He felt really guilty later because he knew she was Bart's cousin and he worried that it had been partly because he missed Bart. Still, it was hot. Speedsters.

10. Bernard. He's Kon's boyfriend now, and they are embarrassingly adorable together.

[Locked so that only Tim, Bart, and Cissie can read it. Though Kon has shoddy security, so pretty much anyone with a modicum of hacking skills can probably get in.]

Okay, so there was this guy, right? And he was kind of hitting on me, like, a lot. Which is fine, I like being hit on. And I hit on him back.

Then he basically tells me he has a girlfriend. And that he's straight. And he denied he was hitting on me. Which...I mean, he wasn't even being subtle about it! I'm about as subtle as a hurled brick, I know that, but he's just so annoyingly closeted!

I mean, it doesn't really matter. I'm not likely to ever see this Bernard guy again, and it wasn't like I was planning on running off and having his gay babies, it just bugs me when people aren't true to themselves, you know?

In other words, De Nile ain't just a river in Egypt.